Saturday, April 12, 2008
MY GIRL BOY
When the only thing that would Hurt you were skinned knees. When the only thing that could be Broken were your toys and Goodbyes only meant until tomorrow. Life was so simple and carefree, but what I remember most was wanting to grow up. And now, all I want is to be a kid again.
I miss my simple life. I miss my childhood. I miss that boy from my childhood, Fendi.
Those days were so simple. We didn't own any cars. We didn't own a lot of things. Our house was small and nothing really fancy. But we were really happy. We have amazing neighbors. We have a lot of friends living nearby. We were so carefree.
Although I knew about Ralph Lauren, Prada, Burberry, Fendi, Gucci, Guess, etc, I don't really wanted to own these things. Like I thought it wasn't neccessary. Not that it is now though. Back then I only had like one Guess shirt and my brother had like one Burberry polo T. And I actually declined when my ex sister-in-law wanted to get me a Prada bag. Because I know that I didn't need it.
My favorite thing in the world back then was this playhouse my dad did for me. He made it out of a cardboard from the new fridge that we got. The cardboard was huge and he built it into a playhouse because I always wanted one. It was simple. Brown cardboard with 2 small windows and 1 door. But I loved it. Nothing beats it. Not even that $180 pink Baby-G watch that my brother got for me then.
And my favorite birthday moment was on my 11th birthday. I still remember it vividly in my mind. That time I was in Primary 5, year 1996. I was tired and my bag was really heavy. I reached the front steps of my house at about 6.45pm. Everything was normal. I went inside my home and I saw my mom in the kitchen cooking. My baby brother was sleeping, my dad haven't reached home and my two brothers were out. Nothing out of the ordinary. So I took off my shoes and walked to the kitchen. When I reached the kitchen, a group of people jumped and shouted "HAPPY BIRTHDAY!" It was my cousins and my aunt. I was so shocked and the look on my face was priceless as I was told. They bought me a cake too. They actually hide in the kitchen and kept their footwear so I wouldn't sense a thing. It was simple and nothing really fancy. Just a $16 cake, home-cooked meal and great company. It was the best birthday ever and the sweetest.
And then there was this boy. Fendi. I've known him since I was just 1 year old. He was my next door neighbor. We did everything together. I really miss him a lot. School holidays were our holidays. And he taught me a lot of things. Like how to roller blade, how to kick a ball the right way, how to fall, stuff like that. He taught me how to be strong.
I miss those days when we would draw and do some coloring at my door steps. When I was at your house and we made some prank calls. When we would go to the nearby shops and just walked around aimlessly. You were that boy who befriended me even though I was fat, chubby and ugly back then. You became my bestest friend when everyone else was making fun of me. Although we didn't talked much in school, I didn't blame you. Because I knew you wanted too. You were just scared that those annoying boys will start to talk. Because everytime you were with your large group of friends, you would secretly gave me a wide smile when they weren't looking. And I still remember that day when you were with just a couple of friends, you called my name and smile at me but I just gave you a quick smile and walked away. It was just because I didn't want to jeopardize your cool persona in school. I didn't want you to get make fun of.
Boy, I miss those days when you would make me laugh till my stomach hurt so bad. And how I would cry for you when your dad beat you up. I miss how you would make me cry sometimes and then apologize. I miss how you would jump and knock on my window and called out my name when you wanted to see me. Then when I was 12, I moved house. That was the last time I saw your smiling face. I miss you, Fendi. You have an amazing ability to make me laugh and a beautiful way to make me cry.
The last thing I heard recently was that you were involved in some rioting and you were covered in blood when they found you. Rumors were flying that you now have tattoos and that you went to a boy's home before. They told me you turned bad. But you're not bad. You just had some issues. I wish I never left. Maybe, you won't be in the state that you are right now. Maybe, just maybe. Everytime I watched the Thai movie, My Girl, (Fan Chan) I can't help but think of you. Like in the movie, we lived near each other and were bestfriends then the girl had to move. That was definitely our story.
Life was beautiful back then. Those were truly the happiest moment of my life. Not that I'm not happy now, I am. But sometimes things happen that made it so hard to stay happy. It's just not the same anymore, you know. Not the same anymore.
love,
nadia.
sin-fullybeautiful.
